Sometimes I wish I was able to write my thoughts more clearly, I think I used to be able to do that, but as with any other skill you have to practice to keep it up.
Tis' the season of life to watch everyone around me having babies, and i love it and love to watch every precious child brought into this world and see how it changes lives every moment of every day.
I, am ready for this journey in my life, yet the timing is not here. I see how ready Steve is, yet how patient he can be knowing that it is not time yet. Sometimes I feel like I will never be healthy and it will never be the right time, but then I realize that this is Satan putting lies in my head. I KNOW that God has called me to be a mother and so I come back to that always.
A few weeks ago, God clearly told me that He will bless me with a child when I return to Him in a devoted way that I have not felt for so long. Now this seems like a no-brainer, but it has been a push and a shove back. Everyday I have to make a CHOICE to be near God. Every day You have to make a choice to be near to God. It is the only choice that can truly change our lives in the most beautiful way.
I am in a group of young married leaders, wonderful women whom I am pleased to be walking with this year and we talked about journaling and writing what we think God would say to us. I tried that yesterday and wanted to share what he had to say to me because I think He wants others to hear and know this too.
"My sweet Laura. I love you and I miss you. I have great plans for your life, just let me in to cover you with love, confidence, joy, peace, patience and kindness. I don't know why you won't stop ignoring me. You have ALL the time in the world, but you act like you don't. Come to me and I will heal you. I want you to have kids and grow them in my ways. I want you to love your husband selflessly. Let you inhibitions go."
I have so much work to bear fruit, but I know that if God says He will do something He will as long as we seek Him with all our heart!
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