By next Saturday my dear sister will be getting married, which is hard for me to believe. She is not old enough! (Ok, maybe she is, but I'll never believe it). She has grown up into a strong independent woman that I am very proud of. There has been so much on her plate and she is getting through it, with some stress, but yet smiling and remembering to breath.
She is marrying my soon to be brother in-law Gordon, who I also think has so much potential. I don't get to spend as much time around him being so far away, but I do know he works hard and truly cares for Sam. So here are some words of wisdom from my whopping 4 years of marriage for them...
- Let God be the center of your marriage, moving closer to HIM is the way to move closer to each other.
- Marriage is about change and compromise. Be willing to change and adapt as you are blending two worlds together into one. You will find out that the way you two were raised and how you like things done may have to be modified to fit your new family. My hubby has a great illustration:
Think of it as a house. You will each bring furniture from your separate houses, some of his will fit and some of hers will fit, but in some spaces nothing will fit and you get to pick out NEW furniture together :) Which can be lots of fun!!!
It is that same with each day, you will start new traditions and modify old ones.
- COMMUNICATE, I mean over communicate, communicate until you think the other person is tired of you communicating. Talk with each other and get in the habit of making decisions together and talking openly about how you feel and what's going on. If you can't be open and honest with your spouse you will never get to the marriage God has for you. Give all of yourself to each other, though it may take time to get there keep fighting for it.
- Pay attention to your unrealistic expectations. There are things you both think the other person should be doing or saying, but they may not have a clue that you feel that way. It is even possible to have those expectations subconsciously and not realize why we are upset with the other person or feeling hurt and let down. Assess your feelings and hurts before deciding you are angry.
- Don't spend time being annoyed with what you don't like about your spouse or how he folds the towels, or washed the dishes, they are just not worth it. Have patience and grace with one another and remember to lift each other up with your words and actions, because that breeds a positive healthy marriage.
- Do not disprespect each other in front of others, it will make a woman feel unloved and embarrassed and make a man feel disrespected.
- Finally, though there are so many other things I could write about, just laugh together each day, have fun, be in love and never give up fighting for a better marriage, it never ends, but the results of the hardwork are worth every moment!
And Sam, enjoy your kittens (yes Gordon you are marrying the cat lady!)
No comments:
Post a Comment